I sat down next to my wife and said, "You look so cute when you're concentrating"
My wife said, "Will you fuck off while I'm trying to have a shit"
Last night I had mind-blowing sex with the prettiest girl in my school.
I am so fired.
I was sitting on the train this morning opposite a really sexy Thai girl.
I thought to myself, "Please don't get an erection. Please don't get an erection."
But she did.
I just recieved a rejection letter from "Cupid, Dating Agency" they said i failed my application due to an issue with question #3, "what do you like most in a woman",, Apparently "My Dick" wasnt an acceptable answer..!
I got invited to a party and was told to dress to kill. Apparently a
turban, beard and a backpack wasn't what they had in mind..
I have a new pick up line that works every time! It doesn't matter how
gorgeous or out of my league a woman might be, this line is a winner & I
always end up in bed with them. Here's how it goes 'Excuse me love, could I
ask your opinion? Does this damp cloth smell like chloroform to you?'
MORE TOMORROW FOLKS!!!