fresh jokes 30 Jan

Sorry for not blogging yestrday, comp went down :(

Men think about sex every seven seconds.

Which is why I eat hot dogs in under six seconds...

so it doesn't get weird!
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My dad walked in on me while smoking a joint in one hand, and fapping to porn in the other... How the fuck did he open the door?

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I have an itchy prostate

Or at least that's what I'll be saying if I get caught.
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I bought my wife a Memory Stick, it's great!
She hasn't forgotten my beer, dinner or sex once since the first beating.
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The barman says, "We don't serve time travellers in here".

A time traveller walks into a bar.
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Emma Watson has been quoted as saying she would go naked in a film if asked.

Emma, would you go naked in a film please?