following a HDD related disaster :(
Here's some gags to add a bit of cheer...
My missus came home tonight and found me in bed with another woman. She said, "Who the fuck is she?"
I replied, "Don't fucking start. It'll be bad enough trying to explain to her who you are."
My wife, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me one of these mood rings so she could monitor my mood.
We discovered that, when I am in a good mood, it turns green and, when I am in a bad mood, it leaves a big fucking red mark on her forehead. =========
My late wife always told me I could get away with murder.
So far, so good.
Gaddafi warns of 2nd vietnam if foreign powers intervene in Libyan conflict.
Yay! Full Metal Jacket sequel!
My wife's a bit like Pinocchio.
Every time she tells me lies, her nose swells up.
What do America's 300,000 battered women have in common?
They just wouldn't fucking listen.
lotta violent ones here today....lets try some sexy ones instead...
A recent survey has shown that 50% of all newlyweds want to try anal sex.
Or to put it another way, 100% of grooms.
I went to the doctor's the other day and found out my new doctor is a young female, drop-dead gorgeous!
I was embarrassed but she said, "Don't worry, I'm a professional - I've seen it all before. Just tell me what's wrong and I'll help you in any way I can."
I said, "I think my cock tastes funny..."
My wife has really begun to enjoy our 'rape fantasies'.....
But if she doesn't spit on the end of that strap-on, I wont be going through with it again.
On the eve of our anniversary my wife and I agreed that whoever woke up first in the morning should wake the other one with oral sex.
Come the morning I was up first so I slowly pulled back the covers...
... and stuck my cock in her mouth.