I'm going to compete in a marathon dressed as Michael Jackson.
Not quite sure which race yet.
An elephant, an ostrich and a crocodile stop a fella in the street.
The crocodile pulls out a police badge and says, "We have reason to believe you are carrying substances of an hallucinogenic nature, Sir."
I like going bowling; I always make my name '3 Testicles' on the board.
That way the TV occasionaly says "Congratulations 3 Testicles! You got a spare."
The wife was having a go at me. "Life's just one big joke to you isn't it".
"I don't know what you mean. Sit down darling and let's talk about it".
That's when I pulled her chair away.
"Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" quickly became a feminist anthem for women.
Probably because it's really upbeat and fun to do the vacuuming to.
My girlfriend is a feminist.
Which basically means she finds sexist jokes utterly abhorrent until one is made about men.
Just had a water fight over in the park with a bunch of local kids.
No one's a match for me and my kettle.
My ex-girlfriend could not take criticism.
At least, that was the basic theme of her suicide note.
I said to my girlfriend, "Now remember, my mother is very old, so speak nice and slow and very loud."
Then I said to my perfectly capable mother, "By the way, my girlfriend is slightly retarded."
What fun that was...