Sunday, 6 February 2011

sixth Febuary posting

My wife asked me "What do you like most about me, my pretty face or my sexy body?"

I looked at her from head to toe and replied, "Your sense of humour"
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I saw an episode of 'Maury' the other day entitled 'Did my man cheat on me because I only have one leg?'

Allow me to save you 45 minutes of back-and-forth fuck-wittery.

Yes.

Yes he did.
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Today, my wife told me I am immature and need to grow up.

Guess who's not allowed in my tree house now?

She said if I don't start acting my age and being more mature, it's going to erect a fence between us.

Hahaha 'erect'!
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There are two reasons I would never drink toilet water:-

Number 1 and number 2.
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As a grown man I feel awkward admitting that I still play with my train set, so I hide it under the duvet.

No one will find it now, I've covered my tracks.
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Life is like a box of chocolates.

Sometimes you just end up with nuts in your mouth.
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The other day I was having a long argument with a man that burglary is ok.

Sadly he disagreed with me and sentenced me to 2 years inside.
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the good thing about getting old is that muti tasking becomes much easier - you can sneeze, fart and piss your self all at the same time.
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My missus caught me jacking off yesterday.
She said, "If I knew you were desperate I would have given you sex."
I said, "If I was desperate I would have asked."

14 comments:

  1. lmao at the maury one, i think i got tired of that show after the first time i watched it

    your friend,
    ectomorphmuscle.blogspot.com

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  2. Lol at desperate for sex and "asking"

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  3. funny shit man, old age multitasking funniest IMO!

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  4. lol'd, love jokes that belittle women.

    Follow me Brothers!

    http://seedypete.blogspot.com/

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  5. the toilet water one is great

    Check by my blog for a nerdy giveaway and a freaky artist

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  6. LMFAOO at sense of humour lmfaoooo xD

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  7. Five star post, those were really funny.

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  8. Lol this is funny stuff. Where do you get them all?

    Followan you.

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  9. hahaha do you find these somewhere, are you told them, do you make them up? This is like the best joke blog ever.

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