Bloke goes into a bar and shouts "You lot over there are a bunch of bastards! And you you lot over there are a bunch of cunts!"
A massive bloke gets up and says "Hey mate I aint a fuckin bastard!"
So the fella says "Well get over there with the cunts then"
Went to the Apple store and saw they had a sign in the window: "Apply within."
Well, what the fuck else is it going to be inside? Orangy?
What lies on the ground 100ft in the air?
A dead Centipede.
I have been pooping in a big box outside my bedroom for the last couple of weeks.
Felt it was time I got my shit together.
If you get an email or text about catching swine flu from tinned pork - ignore it. Its just spam.
My grandad has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from Edinburgh zoo. =======
Do dyslexic men like their ducks sicked, or would they prefer to cook socks?